Trader Joe’s, try as it might, gets a lot of grief for not necessarily being a one-stop grocery shop (although it does carry dozens of my favorite staples). Do we really need it to conform to such boring parameters anyways? I think not — especially when the quirky retailer so perfectly performs the role of “store you stop at on the way to a party” (a much more important role, if you ask me) with ease and panache.
In fact, the grocer more than encourages us all to party a bit more, gather for an impromptu potluck, or fill up the cooler to snack away at an outdoor movie. And like, okay fine, Trader Joe’s? I will fight for my right to party, with plenty of snacks and drinks in tow. Here’s what I stop and grab before any potluck or party to guarantee I’m always on the invite list.
1. Lemon Mini Sheet Cake, $5.49 for 18 ounces
These miniature cakes have yet to let me down — least of all this seasonal lemon flavor (the carrot cake, vanilla chantilly cream, classic chocolate-frosted yellow cake, strawberry cake, and even the gluten-free yellow cake are certified bangers; by all means, grab any of them). The bright lemon zestiness is reason enough for a party, and infuses both the cake and the buttercream frosting. For me, this sheet cake feels like a delightful surprise — something I always try to whip out like a potluck magician.
It tastes and looks homemade (peep that fresh lemon zest on top), yet is open-ended enough to really become something exciting. I personally like to channel my late grandma and layer edible flowers onto the frosting. You can also use any of lemon’s best friends, like fresh blueberries and raspberries, or add a swirl of tart cherry jam to the frosting. If you want to get on my personal invite list, layer two (or three!) of these cakes on top of each other like a maximalist multi-tiered legend. I like your style.
2. Everything but the Bartender Canned Cocktails, $9.99 for 4 (250-milliliter) cans
I know my way around a canned cocktail, and Trader Joe’s pre-made ones are so good they’ll have you wondering hmm, does anyone have a hot tub? in two sips flat. The Margarita (which launched last spring) and Cosmopolitan (first popped up on shelves in April) varieties need zero embellishment outside of chilling and/or pouring over ice. I make a habit of always having a four-pack of these puppies at the ready in my cooler for outdoor movie picnics.
In some ways, they are my ultimate party trick. My friends still cannot believe how much these taste like they were just shaken by a bartender, yet come in such unsuspecting little cans. The liquor tastes top-shelf, the fruity flavors all feel freshly squeezed, and, wouldn’t you know … the hot tub is all heated up now.
3. Pastry Pups, $4.99 for 10.5 ounces
Here’s a question I never want to hear: Did we forget to bring the pigs in a blanket? This may actually be the biggest party foul — particularly if it’s Trader Joe’s Pastry Pups that somehow got left off the menu. No exaggeration: These petite piggies can save any party, much like I do anytime there’s a lull on the dance floor and someone puts “Come On, Eileen” on the Bluetooth speaker.
They’re the far more deluxe version of regular ol’ crescent rolled pups, with a flaky, buttery puff pastry exterior that swaddles the juicy little mini hot dogs ever so nicely. They look so safe! But not for long. Give them a little sprinkle of Parmesan before baking to turn them into an app that requires you to put your pinkies way up as you eat them.
Which Trader Joe’s grocery do you always bring to parties? Tell us about it in the comments below.
The Weekly Checkout
Sign up for The Weekly Checkout to get the most up-to-date grocery news, tips, and highlights.