All KINDS of wows were elicited — and it only strengthened my resolve that us, as people who gotta eat (and thus, gotta grocery shop), shouldn’t settle for anything less. That being said, I did uncover one product I think you can pass on this month. But by and large, here’s what absolutely has me shouting “wow” from the rooftops.
1. Root Beer Float Pieces, $3.79 for 7 ounces
File these under the ever-growing list of Trader Joe’s products labeled, “Things I didn’t know I needed, but now cannot live without.” First of all, how? And second of all, why? Actually, I don’t need to know the answer, but will merely just say thanks for the Root Beer Float Pieces existing. These really do distill the whole experience of a creamy, yet crisp root beer float in a two-bite package.
Here, a vanilla Oreo-adjacent cookie is sandwiched with Pop Rocks-style candies in the middle, which is all enrobed in a root beer-flavored crackly coating that is every bit as potent in the sarsparilla department as the original drink. These cookies truly do not leave anything up to chance, including the pop of candy to mimic the all-important carbonated bubble. One bite of these and I’m at the shore with my grandma again, necking down a frothy float.
2. Mango Mochi Ice Cream, $4.99 for 6.8 ounces
I mean, did you ever worry Trader Joe’s would make a mochi that wasn’t fantastic? It’s actually one of the most delicious constants you can rely on. What I particularly love about this mango version is that one bite is just as refreshing and juicy as biting into an actual mango.
Sure, the strawberry mochi and blood orange mochi are infinitely tasty, but these reach an uncanny valley to the genuine article. Like the other seasonal (and year-round) mochis, these feature a light and fluffy mango ice cream that’s coated in a chewy rice paper wrapping. They pack so much sunshine to the square inch, so be sure to grab these to cool you down when you, like me, are well on your way to getting an unfortunately placed sunburn this summer.
3. Passion Fruit Sorbet, $4.99 for 16 ounces
I love this tropical dream of a treat so much that I hope this morphs into TJ’s next viral body butter so I never have to be too far from this tart, light, ultra-scoopable sorbet. If you’ve never had a fresh passionfruit, this sorbet is a great entry point.
It very much nails the lightly floral, citrusy notes of the fruit, and all without too much sweetness to cloud over it. If you’re smart, I’d suggest grabbing one pint for eating straight up, and another to scoop and top with your favorite bubbly for an easy, breezy summertime cocktail.
4. French Galettes Butter Cookies, $3.79 for 7.75 ounces
These cookies had me at “French” and “butter.” I can taste every last pat of rich, cultured butter in these cookies, and they taste as if they are 50% butter, which is, checks notes, the OPTIMAL BUTTER LEVEL.
Not too sweet (the highest compliment), these French-made galettes are the crisp, crunchy, shortbread-adjacent cookie that could elevate even a midnight snack with a glass of milk. In my heart of hearts, I have big goals of turning these into little “fruit galettes” (rather than the Broyés du Poitou these are modeled after) with a topping of macerated strawberries and whipped cream ASAP.
5. Organic Tart Cherry Fruit Spread, $4.29 for 15 ounces
Trader Joe’s has clearly heard all my pleas for More! Tart! Items! Please! I’m proudly Team Salt-Sour, and have to forgo a lot of grocery items (especially jams and preserves) due to them just being too darn sweet. And for what purpose? What are they hiding!? Well, that is not the case anymore!
This tart cherry spread more than earns the “tart” moniker on its humble jar, with an unadulterated sour cherry flavor (thanks to Turkish sour cherries) that gets the subtlest peck of cane sugar to help showcase all that brightness. You can catch me putting this jam on chicken thighs, in bowls of ice cream, swizzled into cocktails, and, uh, on spoons.
6. Meatball Calzone, $6.99 for 16 ounces
I know a product is good if I can’t leave it alone. I may poke at it from the oven, impatiently waiting for it to be ready or, more often than not, I circle around it, grabbing bites like a territorial vulture. In the case of Trader Joe’s meatball calzone, I did all of the above. Truth be told, this calzone being 12/10 was not on my bingo card this month.
I actually was just hoping it would be “more than edible,” and for that, I apologize to this delightfully doughy lunch that’s bound for the “Best Trader Joe’s Items Of All Time” scrapbook I may secretly be keeping. This calzone tastes like it was made by someone who loves you: The meatballs are that perfect mixture of porky richness and no-nonsense beefiness, and they lounge in an herb-speckled red sauce (not too much!) that all gets swaddled in a crispy crust with just the right amount of chew.
Plus, 1 to skip:
1. Japanese Souffle Cheesecakes, $3.49 for 4.22 ounces
I never thought I’d see the day where a cheesecake didn’t both razzle and dazzle me. Unfortunately, these petite Japanese cheesecakes did not even give me a single razzle. Such high hopes, dashed!
I can’t lie — these cheesecakes are kind of in the middle of an identity crisis. Are they fluffy? Sort of. Do they taste like cheesecake? Kind of, albeit a more open-access (they could easily go savory with the toppings), less-sweet one.
You know how when someone says a person looks like a celebrity, but you think, “Yeah, when I squint a little”? I felt like my tastebuds had to do the equivalent of squinting to really figure out what these cheesecakes were trying to accomplish. It’s simply missing … something.
What new Trader Joe’s item are you most excited about? Tell us about it in the comments below.
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