I love entertaining. Next to decluttering, it’s truly relaxing for me to host friends and family for celebrations, holidays, or even just a random Friday night. But because I always have to go above and beyond when I host, I’ve collected dozens of platters, trinkets, lazy Susans, and other specialty serving supplies over the years — and the weekly HomeGoods runs didn’t help. Then, when COVID hit, I spent lots of time shopping online, stocking up on maybe-one-day-I’ll-host-again buys, and the issue only got worse.
Some of the random serving items I accumulated included a plastic serving dish that used to look like a rainbow — until all the colors peeled off in the dishwasher. There was a woven cloche for placing over food to keep the bugs away when eating outside. It started to fray before I even used it. I fell in love with a metal “ferris wheel” serving piece (targeted to me on Instagram, of course) that I bought immediately thanks to its hefty discount. I tried serving everything from bagels to candy in it to make meals more fun, but alas, the compartments were awkwardly sized and everything spilled out whenever it was “spun” around. It also took up a ton of real estate in my kitchen.
And yet, I refused to part with these items (and many others), hopeful that despite being impractical, clunky, and awkward, that eventually I would use them to serve guests. But even when we did host, I couldn’t bring myself to pull anything out that looked chipped, kitschy, or dysfunctional. On the flip side, I couldn’t bring myself to throw those items away, either. That’s when I discovered this pro organizer’s “guest rule.”
What Is the “Guest Rule” for Decluttering?
It’s funny how life works sometimes. I had an unintentional “aha” moment from a story I researched and wrote for The Kitchn about items cluttering up your kitchen “just in case.” It finally helped me get my servingware sorted out, organized, and — gasp — cleared out! For the article, I spoke to Orna Fathers, the founder, lead designer, and home organization specialist at Grace This Space Interiors, who says when she helps clients declutter, she always asks: “Would you ever serve a guest with this? If not, why is it taking up space in your cupboard?”
Those questions really resonated with me, and I should’ve been asking them to myself. For the past five years, my kitchen cabinets and drawers have been cluttered with pandemic impulse buys — purchases I now regret. These were items with which I just would not (could not!) part ways. The answer was a resounding no: I would not be serving guests, let alone my immediate family, on many of these items I bought on impulse and were now falling apart. So, why were they still taking up space in my cupboards?
After some soul-searching, the best I could come up with was that I was being stubborn. The pandemic took away so much joy, especially when it came to buying my first home. All the fun IRL shopping sprees and ability to touch things and compare color patterns and material before committing to a purchase. Shopping online was a desperate attempt to keep things “normal” so I wouldn’t dwell on not seeing my friends and family, and the general state of the world. Keeping everything was my way of ignoring the stress of that difficult time despite things being much better now.
Since the pandemic ended, I’ve hosted tons of family gatherings, holiday dinners, and parties. And not once did I reach for the rainbow server, ferris wheel, or frayed cloche, among many other items that proved to be useless! Thanks to the excellent advice from Fathers, I finally realized it was time to let these items go. Anything that was scratched, fraying, dingey-beyond-return, or not pretty enough to serve guests in was put in a pile to get rid of once and for all.
Some things I donated; others I discarded. This process also helped me release my resentment over the pandemic, allowing me to focus instead on the joy I’ve experienced and continue to experience in my home. There’s immense satisfaction in opening my cabinets and knowing exactly what dish I’ll be using for guests. And it’s even more fun to know that when the time comes to replace any worn-out servingware, I won’t hesitate to get rid of them — and I can take my time and shop in person!
What do you think about the “guest rule”? Let us know in the comments below!