“Grocery Influencer” Is Now a Career — And It Has Very Specific Rules

Remember when peeking into celebrity homes (a la MTV’s Cribs and Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous) felt like a major novelty? Well, now we have turned our voyeuristic gaze onto none other than the grocery carts of complete strangers on the internet. You might call this a recession indicator, and you’d probably be right.

Admittedly, there is something calming about watching others do household tasks, not unlike playing cleaning video games or watching Guy’s Grocery Games. You feel like you’ve accomplished something in the process, and maybe you learned a thing about an item that’s slightly aspirational but also truly attainable — like a limited-edition cooler bag or an unlikely new hummus flavor (carrot cake?).

So if you’ve ever wanted to throw your hat in the game, here’s what I’ve gathered as the keys to becoming a real-deal grocery influencer.

Think you’ve found the smallest microphone of all? You can probably find an even tinier one if you really believe. A mini microphone gives you that all-important, ultra-casual je ne sais quoi as if you’re headlining a tiny desk concert for your growing legion of fans. You know what they say about a tiny mic? A big following.

If I had a nickel for every time a grocery influencer kicked off a video proclaiming how busy they were with their multiple children, I’d have enough nickels to send those same kids to college. Even if you’re not a busy mom of four, you can certainly play to your strengths on Instagram and TikTok. It’s all about adding a sense of experience and know-how, which many others do in the form of being shirtless in grocery stores (too cold for me, TBH) or dancing through the aisles while making it hard for others to grocery shop. 

As someone who worked for a very top-secret grocer myself, I’ve noticed a few of these influencers have intel that’s news to even crew members. So by all means, do what you need to do, ya know? Befriend your cashier, barter for some of the employee-only bulletins, maybe hang out with the truck drivers out back at delivery time to get the new item hot goss before it lands with the general public.

Look, I review grocery items myself. And if I’ve learned one thing from the sassy emails I’ve received from readers over the years, it is this: How dare I have a slightly chipped manicure within sight of a bag of frozen cheese ravioli? The horror. Nobody wants to lose their appetite before they can hit that heart button with their own manicured thumb.

Do those new tubs of pumpkin spice cream cheese really need to be shot in portrait mode? Probably not, but it certainly doesn’t hurt. A little golden-hour glow hitting that bulb of burrata or a ring light on a box of rice cakes really helps up the romance and aspirational energy of the Content. Same with filming your hauls in a white marble kitchen as if you’re Martha Stewart. Like, you might as well?

Stop whatever you’re doing, for the love of god! Trader Joe’s/Target/Aldi has just released Mandarin Orange Chicken-scented body butter! With collagen! And it’s a dupe! Allegedly … Either way, be sure to ramp up the FOMO for your hungry fans with plenty of !!! or big, bold Instagram lettering proclaiming that the new cauliflower pizza is a “must-try.”

By no means should you actually buy the items you’re hawking. Silly goose! It’s really all about the wrist motion of plopping those items slowly and seductively into your cart. So stretch your grabbing fingers, loosen up those wrists, and practice slam-dunking all those artisanal mochi/brioche hot dog buns/Easter eggs into your cart — before stealthily putting them all back. 

Got a tip for becoming a grocery influencer? Tell us about it in the comments below.